Showing posts with label 1000 words. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1000 words. Show all posts
May 04, 2012

An Experiment With Loss


She closed the front door firmly, but not before a "Come a little earlier tomorrow, we have to go out." She walked towards the guest room that doubled as the computer room. The small house did not offer much in walking as an exercise. She turned on the computer, ambled to the window, stood watching the street below while it fired up. It was just 10 am and the summer sun was glaring back at her in all his glory. She squinted painfully, before closing the lace curtains.
Sitting on the slide back chair, she was soon lost to the world around her. As she opened her inbox to check the mails, thought she heard a soft voice whispering. Dismissing it as the by product of an over active imagination, turned her attention to a forwarded joke mail and chuckled quietly as she read through it. There was the voice again. It was steadily yet softly humming in a rhythm. She recognised the faint echoes of her name. Someone was calling out to her, but an unfamiliar voice, not one you could identify at first hearing. 
'Sounds like the noise is coming from the front door, maybe, the bell isn't working...but why didn't they knock on the wood?'
Grumpily got up, as she neared a particular doorway, it become obvious that the sound emanated from in there. She peeped in cautiously, 'What if it was a stalker?'
 The scene before her was a stuff of dreams. The table was occupied and looked inviting. She stepped in the room and glanced at them all. They looked back at her, bright and attractive.
 Running her fingers through her unkempt hair, her eyes and heart aglow, she silently argued,
"One more day wouldn't make that much of a difference, would it?
"It will not, but that is not the issue here!'
'What is?'
'Accountability!'
'Go away, won't you?'
'Not this time, not for a long time. Get over yourself. I am here to stay.'
Sighing, she made to move, when the soft voice from before hummed again. It came from the left side of the table, she noted absently. The voice suddenly went quiet as newer ones that had been silent were now gaining momentum, whispering pleasant entreaties. Enticing words that appealed to a particular emotion far more than to the others were being uttered from all corners. The whispers soon grew louder, now clamouring for her undivided attention.
Some solicited her presence openly displaying their best qualities. They preened and pouted, reminding her of her latest zoo visit. He had been strutting around, showing off his colourful feathers much like these. They were obviously for ones with expensive tastes with snobby airs.
 Two of the group watched the commotion with detachment bordering on amusement. They needed no extra charms or marketing skills to attract, secure in the knowledge of her servitude.
"She is addicted to us, all right." the creamy tones remarked, catching his reflection.
"Quite right, if the perky eyes are anything to go by. But, admit it brother, she prefers me to you.” retorted the powdery voice cracking his knuckles in boredom.
"Don't get ahead of yourself. Honestly you make me laugh. Not a day goes by without her wistful glances at me, where you are ignored for weeks together." whistling in contentment.
"Only glances" smirking, "It's this dude she reaches for with her delicate fingers, when she needs a shoulder to cry on...'" before immersing himself in pleasant day dreams.
She was bemused, unsure when someone else who had been watching this banter with growing irritation, butted right in. 
"Stop your vain glory, insolent fools! One of these, I am going too..." the fourth, much older voice was interrupted as a fight broke out.
She stood shell shocked, unable to react, amazed that all this drama was for her humble self.
"Move over, you greasy son of a cow!" ordered the dark one with a fragrance to die for...
'He tasted heavenly too.' 
The greasy son not to be outdone pitched himself firmly in the way. In a voice dripping with disdain "Mister Greasy keeps her breezy on those lonely nights, you leave her by."
The round bellied said wisely, "Meet her comforter on all days of the year. No one else is dearer to her."
"Why don't we just ask her?" the soft voice from earlier spoke, now seated rather uncomfortably on the table top.
"Not a bright idea, this new one of yours." the rest sneered.
The gentle one retreated, beaten again, a score of zero to six. 
She felt a stab of pity for him, for he was one of her favourites. She rubbed her eyes repeatedly, that had the ones at the table mighty concerned.
'Was she ill? That would spell disaster.'
'Was she in a bad mood?’ the dark one sure hoped so, for he would become the chosen one for today.
'If she is unhappy, I stand a chance' the beaten one's face perked up with this happy thought.
She looked at them all for what seemed like eternity, clenching and unclenching her fists.
'This can't be happening'
'It is and will get worse' smug tones proclaimed.
'Make them leave!' she begged.
'Only you can. Use your power of discretion.'  then faded away.
The internal conflict resolved, she gave them an accusatory look. There was guilt and longing mixed in too.
Poking through the wooden cabinet by the table yielded the usual suspects. She picked up the manual from the seat and sat down near them. Adding a glass of skim milk to the bowl of muesli, sprinkling it generously with pomegranates, she ate in silence and mild frustration, reading the instructions.
The soft voice, hurt and thus emboldened, openly cried 
"What went wrong in our friendship? I stood by you..." rudely interrupted by
"We all did, for over a decade, through thick and thin, and this is the thanks we get?"
She munched on, head down, struggling to articulate her thoughts. She flipped through the manual in her hand and finally decided to end the game once and for all.
"Yes, I appreciate what you did for me. The highs and feeling of being loved you fostered in me."
Pausing, 'Had she finally lost her mind' then continuing,
"But I hate, really do, the other gifts you have bestowed on me."
"What other gifts? All our gifts are good!" they screamed in unison.
"These tyres on my stomach which had me resembling a bleached whale at last week’s party. Not forgetting the scary proximity of my David and that flirty, size four Kim."
 Then with wishful moaning, “He has promised me a solitaire if I lay off ...”
 The breakfast over, she dumped the deadly seven, one by one into the garbage can... apologising over and over again.
She had passed the first test, the one set by the Food Addicts Anonymous. Heaving sigh of relief...if only, she didn't suffer a relapse the third time!



wc 1163

A stinker


She followed after him into the lobby, the report held firmly in her hands. The company’s fortunes were on the upswing and yet her job hadn’t been made permanent. The day couldn’t end soon enough for her to tackle him again. He would be off on a foreign trip in a week’s time. This time it would be for an entire month.
Was he trying to avoid her? Need to find out if Susie is going to accompany him. So far, no one had a clue, nothing unusual rather his style of working.
 Last night he had come to her apartment after nearly a month. An argument had ensued.
“Is there something going on between you and Susan?”
 He got up to the small drink bar she had set up just for him. Pouring himself a glass of scotch, barely able to contain his irritation in his voice, “She is my assistant, a new hand, you know that very well.”
Taking a swig, gestured wildly at her” Stop your nagging woman, what are you? My wife?”
 Wouldn’t want to open a can of worms, not would we? “That doesn’t answer my question?”
“Does no answer it?”
“Why was she all over you at the party?”
“”Just harmless flirting, like Dev does with you.” winking at her “Do I scream and interrogate?”
“He is different, he knows I am taken.”
 “Taken?” his head shooting up from the lower shelf of the fridge, banging it against the open door in the process.
“Damn you woman, won’t let a man drink in peace.” He grunted, rubbing the tender spot.
“Let me see that, does it hurt? Could be a concussion”  “Go and sit down, I‘ll get the salad.”
“Get some ice too.”
“Where did you buy these?” looking at the two corked champagne bottles.
 “The usual, Uncle gifted them to Pa, you know, he can’t drink anymore after the heart attack.”
“Mom gave it to me to throw away.”
He eyed her speculatively, “And you brought them over. Smart girl.”
“Not smart as your Susie” she pouted, his one word question from earlier rankling her.
Was he trying to deny their two year relationship? Jealous and anger reared their ugly heads again.
He has a way with women and knew from her expression, the situation had to be salvaged,
Pulling her over, murmuring the usual trite words, she so loved to hear, he managed to improve her mood. It was enough to be allowed to spend the night on her bed.
She was easy to manipulate, that’s why he kept her around.
As he dressed up the next morning, Susan curvy body flashed before his eyes.
The thrill of a new conquest was what he lived for, but this one was shrewd and self confident to fall for his silken webs. He needed to plan; the trip would be the ideal way to connect. He had carefully kept everyone out of the loop except Susan. As he looked in the kitchen where Mouly was preparing their breakfast, he knew he had to keep her satisfied, just in case…

cwc 515 unfinished
October 10, 2010

A Forgotten Loss





She has been nagging me for quite some time now, hovering over my keyboard and stating over and over again that this series will be incomplete without her little tale.


 "Hamsini" (literally meaning swanlike) was a pretty child who grow up to be an extraordinarily beautiful girl.


 They say back home, " Too much beauty is a curse", in her case, coupled with her mother's pride and her own vanity and naivety, it turned out just that.


As said before, wherever she went , she garnered attention, not surprisingly, at her workplace too. Fresh from college, little did she know,her first stint, as a secretary in a private firm would take her through a roller-coaster ride, through dizzying heights of love to plunging depths of betrayal and shame.


A month in her new job, she met a dashing, charmer of a man, her immediate boss transferred from a different city. Mathew was everything she had never encountered before, showed her a world far removed from her traditional one. He was friendly, polite, helpful , intelligent, articulate, sophisticated and she fell, and fell badly. He seemingly reciprocated her feelings, "his love" making her break rules, lie and fight with her elder brother who loved her dearly and not being convinced of Mathew's affections (not to mention the 12 yr age difference), clearly disapproved.


But when has a young, rebellious girl listened to reason. She assured her brother that things would work out and convinced him to keep her secret a little longer. Her life revolved around him - the love of her life and all was well in her paradise for over a year till..... little things began to take a new hue, things she had noticed before but never heeded, like his frequent trips to his "home town", the fact that he never mentioned nor had she met anyone from his family, that he was becoming increasingly secretive, of late the couple of times she called his home, a lady had answered : her queries shrugged off by him as a visiting relative. 


One day, the camel's back broke, when she saw a lady in his cabin (he was at a client's office) and found out that the lady in question was the one who took his house calls and was (to hear utter shock) ....his wife. their only son studying in a boarding school.  Later that day when she confronted him, he admitted the same, but assured her of his love...he gained her sympathy stating that his was a loveless marriage, his wife basically being his father's choice.


Torn between her love and her guilt (yes, she was human enough to feel for her parents who were blissfully unaware, and for his wife and child). Things went downhill when she was forced to give him an ultimatum to choose between - her or his wife, her family having arranged her marriage against her wishes. He begged for time which she granted him, for she was besotted. He kept stalling for over six months, showings no signs of taking a stand (guess, he was enjoying the best of both worlds). 


 In the end, the decision strangely was taken out of his hands, a visit to the doctor confirming her worst fears.


Caught between a marriage she did not want and the man she loved (who was married and couldn't(wouldn't ?)marry her. fearful of her father's and brother's reactions to how far gone she was, the truth of her seemingly false relation slowly prying on her, she took what seemed the best way out. The last thing she remembered before falling into the black void of unconsciousness was the desperate banging on her door........and then.... utter silence....


  


Her family was shattered in myriad ways - her father never quite getting over her loss and the society's subsequent trail by fire, her mother can't still accept that she is really gone, her brother wallows in regret and guilt for his perceived inaction. The hero of this tale (or conniving, selfish, heartless jerk, in the opinion of many) lost everything - the girl he "loved", his wife and child, his job : the owners frowning on inter-office affairs (bad karma, if you ask me).....But last heard, his wife after more than a decade reconciled with him, yet he is only a shell of his former self, remorse gnawing at him relentlessly....






As she gazes sadly at the words, I find the courage to ask if she regrets her trusting, foolish and selfish behaviour and would have, given a chance lived her life differently.


 She nods her head and says that she wishes to have spared her loved ones the pain, a twinge of guilt for his wife and child, her to-be groom and mainly for her unborn child...but remains silent on HIM. 


My reasoning is that she has long forgiven him and holds herself equally responsible for all she went through as clearly stated in her suicide note, my guess is that she loves him still and would have given up everything to be with him, the coward just had to ask....


Love makes you do strange things, even justify what others perceive as wrongdoing.






Before she departs, she looks at herself in the mirror (don't ask me if its possible) and audibly sighs "Atleast, I am still beautiful."


I overcome the urge to roll my eyes, after all , who am I to deny a ghost who has been 22 years old for more than two decades now (and forever stuck from the looks of it), simple girly pleasures of vanity.


Wc 929 to have 71 words more





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