August 10, 2012

A Coincidence?

Time for another round of  RFW - Romatic Friday Writers

Challenge 42- I need a change.


I wandered into the balcony tempted by the cool breeze and the tantalising view of the golden sands. Sips of the invigorating cup of spiced tea while listening to the melody of the small town rousing itself from sleep formed my daily routine. I enjoyed hearing the slapping sounds of pigeons from adjacent cottages and the clanging horn of children’s bicycles as they passed by.
Peace proved elusive today and the noise grated on my nerves. This trip hadn’t turned out as well as I hoped, even my daughter’s imminent arrival from London failed to cheer me up.
His indifference hurts. It went back decades and I am used to it. Why did it nag me now?
Sundar is a liberal man, but his modernity extends to the children alone. For me, he is the husband cast in the mould of my father and grandfather before him. Disciplined men yet rigid in their set ways. My husband is in Singapore trying to solicit new customers for our knit wear factory.
 The textile industry has taken a hit given the global slowdown. With the high labour turnover and the power crisis in our state we may have a white elephant on our hands. The workers won’t be getting a bigger bonus, if they received one.
I took another sip and let out a sigh. I had an easy life. I shouldn’t be complaining.
He had been more enthusiastic than me over our ladies club’s week long sojourn to Goa. Why didn’t he take me with him? As the chief merchandiser, I could scout their retail markets while he attended the trader’s meet. I hadn’t visited our office in a month. The three projects on hand were on schedule, and the juniors competent enough to oversee the day to day activities. They kept me in the loop with emails and calls.
“Anita, a package for you.” My childhood friend, Dina‘s voice filtered through. Who could it be?
“Go on, open it.” My friend seemed to be onto the secret. “It from him,” she whispered.
What an age to turn romantic. Was my college sweetheart returned to me? I almost tore open the envelope in my haste.
 The papers fluttered down from my hands. My friend raced against the wind to retrieve them.
I watched, as her light coloured cheeks turned crimson. “Bastard,” was all I heard before my head hit the floor.

 Wc 400
 FCA - full critique acceptable

* Do visit on the 12th  to catch J.C Martin's, author of recently released mystery thriller Oracle, interview...there is a  Giveaway with three prizes for 3 winners that runs till Sept 2. 

12 comments:

M Pax said...

Wow, that's a really intriguing story, Rek. I'm really curious as to what was in the envelope.

Madeleine Maddocks said...

I liked the way your use the style of a historical novel for this piece. I hope your MC finds her strength and wins out over the 'bastard'!

Sally said...

Great story - I can feel all the emotions - especially the last sentence. Well done.

Adura Ojo said...

A great ending, Rekha. Nicely done all the way through too.

Heather Murphy said...

Hmmm...I wonder what was in the package also. I like the romance and suspense of this piece but I want to know more :)

Andy David said...

Dear friend,
What was in the envelope?? You left us with a mystery here but with a sweet flavor of romance. Good write and thanks for sharing.

Donna Hole said...

As I read I kept thinking the scoundrel wasn't coming back from his "business trip".

I liked the flow of this, and the cultural references to places and her normal life. This captured my senses too.

Have a good weekend Rek. If you don't see me here on Monday it means I forgot, so please drop by my blog to remind me. I'd like to read JC's post here. Thanks.

......dhole

Deniz Bevan said...

I'd love to know what was in that package...

Denise Covey said...

Hello Rek. Amazing mystery package in 400 words. I love the voice in your story, and how you build up the suspense to the chilling ending - 'Bastard!' What has husband dear been up to in Goa? Why didn't he want her with him? Hmm...more please...

Denise

A said...

What was in the envelope??

Scheherazade said...

I very much like the voice and descriptions of this story. I got lost at the end about the package and it's contents. You need to give us a little bit of a hint.

Anna said...

Dear Rek,
Thank you for visiting my post.You have asked some very good questions about the characters in my story; no one is really at fault, but everyone's lives has been shaken. Will they recover?

Your story is intriguing and makes me want to know more. What is in the envelope?

It is to me a little unclear as to what happens at the end. Does she fall down and faint?

Best wishes,
Anna
RFW No.42 - 'I need a change'

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Glad you made it this far...would love to hear your take on the words scribbled. A comment every now and then keeps the blues away. :D

Since, crazy Mr. Blogspot won't let me reply to the comments here (is upset with the water ladies ever since they refused to verify visitors)...will do the next best thing, drop in to your blog to say my Vanakkam/Namaste/Salaam/Hello.

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