My first post for the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge 2014. Almost a month ago, I had decided against participating and I had emailed Michelle (one of the co-hosts and bloggette friend) about it. This, after informing her about an event that rocked my life.
My dad, aged 70, passed away 29 days ago. These short messages -100 words (drabble) or 200 words (droubble) are a mix of past, present and future happenings, memories, and thoughts.
I apologise if some of these letters end up on a sad note.
A - Acceptance
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward - C.S. Lewis
How do I accept you will never return home?
Your desperate attempts to breathe haunt me - 36 hours turned hope into
despair. How do I stop this recurring image - your bidding me good night and
walking slowly to your room, wearing those black and red flip-flops?
I wake up everyday and expect to see you in
the living room – I imagine myself grabbing the newspaper while you're
distracted by the news on television.
How do I assuage my guilt over those words repeated
every day of your hospital stay - false words I believed in – back
home soon?
5 comments:
Rekha, I am sorry! My heart goes out to you. Prayers that this will help you find some peace.
Oh no. My heartfelt condolences Rekha. I know it's hard to be strong.
I pray for you in this time of loss. So beautiful and poignant. Thank you for being brave and sharing.
Mary-andering Creatively
Rekha, you've been on my mind...
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers...
I'm so sorry that you lost your dad. Whenever we lost a friend or family member, my grandmother used to say, "as long as we remember them, they aren't really gone." I always found comfort in what she said and I make sure to think about those people often. Her especially. She's been gone for decades and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her and see her in my mind's eye. Judging by the remark about your Dad's "red and black flip-flops," I'm betting that you have enough memories to last for a long long time. Take care Rek...
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Glad you made it this far...would love to hear your take on the words scribbled. A comment every now and then keeps the blues away. :D
Since, crazy Mr. Blogspot won't let me reply to the comments here (is upset with the water ladies ever since they refused to verify visitors)...will do the next best thing, drop in to your blog to say my Vanakkam/Namaste/Salaam/Hello.