A Friendly Misunderstanding
* Good times and bad times that's what friends are for*....the song had long since died out but it echoed in her ears still. 'Apt' she thought sadly. She knew it would happen someday; but from such close quarters and her reduced to a passive spectator - was not how she had envisaged it.
To all around them, they were good friends bound by a camaraderie that was rare. That's where the root of the problem lay. Shabnam ! that name that had been floating around for just a year, was now a force to contend with...rather...back out off.
And she had been, she recollected with a twinge of envy, instrumental in bringing them together. 'Her friend at work and her best friend would soon be reciting - till death do us apart', she mused wryly. She wished them well and yet....the floodgates wee quick to open and she gave in to a bout of self pity. Dimly, she become aware of the phone's incessant ringing. She got up slowly, moved to the hall, shaking hands holding the receiver. The voice on the other side was its usual cool self...A dull ache gripped her and she answered monotonously.
The voice : "I am coming over to your place. There's something I want to share with you."
She thought grimly, 'As if I don't already know why' but replied, "That's fine with me. I am at home anyways, the rest of them have gone out".
Click and the phone went silent. She went to the washroom, slapped cold water on her face to hide away any visible traces of despair, dabbed on some compact. Needing to calm her highly strung nerves, she busied herself in the kitchen, got the kettle on and boiled some milk. Just as she was lost in her lonely thoughts, the doorbell rang. Turning off the gas (her bouts of practicality), she ran to open the door. Abruptly she stopped halfway, waited for a flurry of rings and finally let him in.
"Hi, what took you so long?"
" I was in the kitchen. Make yourself comfortable. I was going to have Coffee, would you like some Tea?"
"Not now, maybe later. Do you have anything chilled?"(knowing there wouldn't be any alcoholic drinks in her fridge).
Off she went and returned a few minutes later with a Cola. She watched surreptitiously, as he gulped down the drink gratefully.
He startled her with a "My! Its hot outside."
She nodded and turned away quickly to regain her composure. She waited for the blow.
As though reading her mind, he wasted no time in stating, "Now, for the reason for this surprise visit. I am sorry I couldn't make it earlier, but today's the only day off I was able to take in some time. I wanted to do this before, but you too have been busy lately, and one thing after another has eaten away into all my spare time..."
The sentences, their jarring sounds was all she heard. It was as though her mind was blocking out the facts in those words.
As he droned on "Won't be the first to do it, but its exciting nevertheless, I mean one doesn't get married everyday....."
He paused, puzzled by the sudden change in her expression, he asked "Any problems?".
She was quick to reply, " Oh, nothing , she is truly a lucky girl".
" Yeah, I guess she is....don't say you are aware of it!!"
"I was informed sometime back" she said putting great efforts to sound normal.
"Funny, why didn't anyone back home tell me?"
'Back home??.....' She thought, 'so its true ...and now....', "She mentioned it when we went out last time, shopping in fact three weeks ago" she drawled on...
"Went out shopping? Odd! my sister never mentioned it".
It was her turn to be puzzled, " What has Preeti got to do with this?"
"Everything. Its her wedding we are talking about", he said in an amused tone.
The world was turning topsy turvy...sensing her bewilderment, he come closer to the table she was standing with her back to, looked at her for a few minutes, gently asked, "What's going on? Who is lucky, if not Preeti?"
She couldn't utter a single word. Motionless, she remained silent. He repeated his query, this time with a touch of concern in his voice. It roused her out of her trance and yet she could not bear to look up at him.
Gaze to the ground, she replied softly, "Shabnam and...", her voice trailing off.
He spoke " So, its the season for weddings, good for her....wait a minute, what has that got to do with my visit?"
With no response forthcoming, a bright light, light up somewhere, clear as daylight and he understood. He started to question her but stopped with an afterthought. Instead, he walked to the kitchen, searched for some edibles, finding a packet of wafers, he literally glided back to his comfy spot on the couch and began munching. The chomping noises were meant to irritate and further unnerve her and it did just that.
"What is he upto', she thought hotly. Whatever it was, he was taking his own sweet time with it. Reaching for the music system, he played one of her favourite songs, 'Everything I do, I do it for you..."
The whole bloody scene and his casual air was draining her composure and in a vain effort to control her emotions and get it off her chest, she was forced to ask of him, "Isn't it true about you and Shabnam?", biting at the last word.
He turned back, staring at her in serious puzzlement, all the time struggling to stifle a grin, "What about us?"
"You two are making marriage plans, aren't you?" She asked bluntly.
'If you say so', he longed to say and play along. Seeing her increasing disconcernment, he settled for, "How and what do you know ?"
"The whole gamut", she admitted dryly, "Shabnam told us, me and Preeti on our shopping trip. She even thanked me for introducing you to her. Hell, our department is agog with the gossip of your impending union, what with your frequent visits". Unable to stop, she added bitterly, "She wouldn't have known you, if not for me".
"That's true", he agreed, leaving her to figure out what was true and what wasn't.
As he paced the room, he mentally kicked himself for paying attention to the other girl in question, he needed to have a serious talk with Shabnam, at the earliest. First things first, this was the opening he had been hoping for, and damned he would be to let it go by. He needed answers to the question he had been grappling with for over two years now.
So, he retreated to the couch and silently watched her, observing her face that had always been an open book, her expressions presently forming an amalgam of sadness, despair and bewilderment, but not the emotions he sought to see.
Time seemed to beat its own drum, the silence comforting her, she having no inclination to raise again, the topic that was painful to even contemplate let alone discuss. And yet, she could not help the strange feeling that arose in her and wondered, "Why is he not forthcoming?'
He seemed different today, from his usual self. True, he was secretive and did not reveal his thoughts or feelings, except to those close....'But they were close, weren't they?', she pondered, his behaviour beyond her comprehension.
She gave in to the urge to curse Shabnam in particular, the world in general for the way the events has spanned out. Her mind waltzed over the good times she and TC (as she and all their common friends affectionately called him) had shared, the mutual care, support, affection and guidance nurtured over half a dozen years.
As she glanced shyly at the pensive figure seated, from her spot at the table, she knew it would be impossible to forget, difficult to let go. Yet, she wished the very best for him, even if it meant....She had long known, she was lying to one and all when she denied anything but platonic feelings for him. As she battled her conflicting emotions and thoughts, she failed to notice that TC had abandoned his position and walked unto her, so much so, that she let out a scared cry when he held her by her shoulders.
He gently raised her face up, to met his glance, searching for the elusive answer in her eyes....something flashed just then...and then it was gone......but it was enough.
He asked her tenderly, almost reprimanding, "Is this why you have been avoiding me of late?". She looked away guiltily.
Diffidently he asked of her, "does it matter to you that I may belong with someone else?"
'Yes', she wanted to scream out loud but bit her tongue to stifle the impulse and shook her head.
He commanded, " Look into my eyes and deny the same".
Astonished, she looked up, seeing her own pain and desires reflected in those dark brown eyes looking down at her, slowly aware of the tears rolling down her face.
Words seemed redundant then. Nothing else mattered anymore, except their love....now....tomorrow.....forever.....
word count 1558
(Originally written on 1/5/1997, as per my diary) ;D)
