The Moving Reunion

The Ramp rolled down, searching, gliding slow and steady, reaching out to the ones who had almost lost hope. It became the symbol of humanity and survival as it transported beleaguered, traumatised men one by one. The world watched with baited breath, expectantly the release of prisoners from their hot, claustrophobic earthly tomb. The unfortunate having been almost buried alive for over two months. Banners, cameras, microphones, screaming crowds assaulted the miners senses but were pushed to the background. Only the sheer pleasure of being alive, reunited with loved ones, surrounded by well wishers, concern for those left behind remained.

( Inspired by the latest and similar rescue acts across the world )

# 8 Random Musings For The Day

'Think before you Speak'

'Plan before you Act'

'Practice before you Attempt'

'Look before you Leap'

 ....What happened to Good Ole Spontaneity ???

The Flood

She woke up groggy, the flu’s effect dizzying, to her brother's warning not to step out. He, friend and car stranded on the highway. She watches out of the window, swirling waters seeping through row houses below. Her husband stuck at work, she watches, as the power fails, the rooftops of submerged cars, their warning red lights casting eerie patterns in the dark waters. The rain gods relentless, the high tides adding to the woes, the levels increasing with every passing hour, sucking life away in the strong currents forever. Her building stands alone - an island in the foreboding gloom.

(My experience in the Bombay flash floods of 26/07/05 )

The River

She flows timeless from the glaciers as a stream,

a torrent on the dive down, gushing and rushing.

She never pauses, she and her children numerous,

parting along the way, a rendezvous to keep.

She ambles along, sludge and sin her feet make heavy,

 watches listlessly the rise and fall of civilisations.

She sees herself dyed in the brightest red -

the colour of war, the colour of hate.

She dodges through the obstacles course, 

with the ease and skill of a sturdy veteran.

She carries moaning not, the burden of floating bodies,

the steerer on their onward journey.

She takes in all the abuse and mire, stoic and proud,

granting countless souls the elixir of life.

Onwards forever is she bound,

 her ocean beckoning relentlessly,

Until the mountains, her home erodes,

Until the Earth stretches her tired limbs again,

# 7 Random Musings For The Day

Someone's nonsense can make perfect sense to someone else !!!  Its a matter of perception, abstraction and derivation....

Why Men Are From Mars, Women From Venus - 1

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My Tryst

I

Dared to dream :

The world below, Self above,

I

Stood at the edge :

Free fall craving, To let go unable,

I

Stumbled and grumbled :

The void overpowering, The deadly mist surrounding,

I

Heard a cacophony of voices : 

Drowning out the urges, Breaking through the trance,

I

Felt the adrenaline gushing

Drenched in sweat, The heart pounding,

I

Walked away :

The cliff receding, The valley approaching,

I 

Watched in awe :

Shaking in mirth, The soul burst free... 

A Forgotten Loss

She has been nagging me for quite some time now, hovering over my keyboard and stating over and over again that this series will be incomplete without her little tale.


 "Hamsini" (literally meaning swanlike) was a pretty child who grow up to be an extraordinarily beautiful girl.


 They say back home, " Too much beauty is a curse", in her case, coupled with her mother's pride and her own vanity and naivety, it turned out just that.


As said before, wherever she went , she garnered attention, not surprisingly, at her workplace too. Fresh from college, little did she know,her first stint, as a secretary in a private firm would take her through a roller-coaster ride, through dizzying heights of love to plunging depths of betrayal and shame.


A month in her new job, she met a dashing, charmer of a man, her immediate boss transferred from a different city. Mathew was everything she had never encountered before, showed her a world far removed from her traditional one. He was friendly, polite, helpful , intelligent, articulate, sophisticated and she fell, and fell badly. He seemingly reciprocated her feelings, "his love" making her break rules, lie and fight with her elder brother who loved her dearly and not being convinced of Mathew's affections (not to mention the 12 yr age difference), clearly disapproved.


But when has a young, rebellious girl listened to reason. She assured her brother that things would work out and convinced him to keep her secret a little longer. Her life revolved around him - the love of her life and all was well in her paradise for over a year till..... little things began to take a new hue, things she had noticed before but never heeded, like his frequent trips to his "home town", the fact that he never mentioned nor had she met anyone from his family, that he was becoming increasingly secretive, of late the couple of times she called his home, a lady had answered : her queries shrugged off by him as a visiting relative. 


One day, the camel's back broke, when she saw a lady in his cabin (he was at a client's office) and found out that the lady in question was the one who took his house calls and was (to hear utter shock) ....his wife. their only son studying in a boarding school.  Later that day when she confronted him, he admitted the same, but assured her of his love...he gained her sympathy stating that his was a loveless marriage, his wife basically being his father's choice.


Torn between her love and her guilt (yes, she was human enough to feel for her parents who were blissfully unaware, and for his wife and child). Things went downhill when she was forced to give him an ultimatum to choose between - her or his wife, her family having arranged her marriage against her wishes. He begged for time which she granted him, for she was besotted. He kept stalling for over six months, showings no signs of taking a stand (guess, he was enjoying the best of both worlds). 


 In the end, the decision strangely was taken out of his hands, a visit to the doctor confirming her worst fears.


Caught between a marriage she did not want and the man she loved (who was married and couldn't(wouldn't ?)marry her. fearful of her father's and brother's reactions to how far gone she was, the truth of her seemingly false relation slowly prying on her, she took what seemed the best way out. The last thing she remembered before falling into the black void of unconsciousness was the desperate banging on her door........and then.... utter silence....


  


Her family was shattered in myriad ways - her father never quite getting over her loss and the society's subsequent trail by fire, her mother can't still accept that she is really gone, her brother wallows in regret and guilt for his perceived inaction. The hero of this tale (or conniving, selfish, heartless jerk, in the opinion of many) lost everything - the girl he "loved", his wife and child, his job : the owners frowning on inter-office affairs (bad karma, if you ask me).....But last heard, his wife after more than a decade reconciled with him, yet he is only a shell of his former self, remorse gnawing at him relentlessly....






As she gazes sadly at the words, I find the courage to ask if she regrets her trusting, foolish and selfish behaviour and would have, given a chance lived her life differently.


 She nods her head and says that she wishes to have spared her loved ones the pain, a twinge of guilt for his wife and child, her to-be groom and mainly for her unborn child...but remains silent on HIM. 


My reasoning is that she has long forgiven him and holds herself equally responsible for all she went through as clearly stated in her suicide note, my guess is that she loves him still and would have given up everything to be with him, the coward just had to ask....


Love makes you do strange things, even justify what others perceive as wrongdoing.






Before she departs, she looks at herself in the mirror (don't ask me if its possible) and audibly sighs "Atleast, I am still beautiful."


I overcome the urge to roll my eyes, after all , who am I to deny a ghost who has been 22 years old for more than two decades now (and forever stuck from the looks of it), simple girly pleasures of vanity.


Wc 929 to have 71 words more

Forgotten Tales Series - 2

A Friendly Misunderstanding 

           * Good times and bad times that's what friends are for*....the song had long since died out but it echoed in her ears still. 'Apt' she thought sadly. She knew it would happen someday; but from such close quarters and her reduced to a passive spectator - was not how she had envisaged it.

         To all around them, they were good friends bound by a camaraderie that was rare. That's where the root of the problem lay. Shabnam ! that name that had been floating around for just a year, was now a force to contend with...rather...back out off.

        And she had been, she recollected with a twinge of envy, instrumental in bringing them together. 'Her friend at work and her best friend would soon be reciting - till death do us apart', she mused wryly. She wished them well and yet....the floodgates wee quick to open and she gave in to a bout of self pity. Dimly, she become aware of the phone's incessant ringing. She got up slowly, moved to the hall, shaking hands holding the receiver. The voice on the other side was its usual cool self...A dull ache gripped her and she answered monotonously. 

           The voice : "I am coming over to your place. There's something I want to share with you." 

          She thought grimly, 'As if I don't already know why' but replied, "That's fine with me. I am at home anyways, the rest of them have gone out".   

       Click and the phone went silent. She went to the washroom,  slapped cold water on her face to hide away any visible traces of despair, dabbed on some compact. Needing to calm her highly strung nerves, she busied herself in the kitchen, got the kettle on and boiled some milk. Just as she was lost in her lonely thoughts, the doorbell rang. Turning off the gas (her bouts of practicality), she ran to open the door. Abruptly she stopped halfway, waited for a flurry of rings and finally let him in.

          "Hi, what took you so long?"

          " I was in the kitchen. Make yourself comfortable. I was going to have Coffee, would you like some Tea?"

        "Not now, maybe later. Do you have anything chilled?"(knowing there wouldn't be any alcoholic drinks in her fridge). 

      Off she went and returned a few minutes later with a Cola. She watched surreptitiously, as he gulped down the drink gratefully. 

         He startled her with a "My! Its hot outside."   

       She nodded and turned away quickly to regain her composure. She waited for the blow.

        As though reading her mind, he wasted no time in stating, "Now, for the reason for this surprise visit. I am sorry I couldn't make it earlier, but today's the only day off I was able to take in some time. I wanted to do this before, but you too have been busy lately, and one thing after another has eaten away into all my spare time..."

           The sentences, their jarring sounds was all she heard. It was as though her mind was blocking out the facts in those words.

         As he droned on "Won't be the first to do it, but its exciting nevertheless, I mean one doesn't get married everyday....." 

      He paused, puzzled by the sudden change in her expression, he asked "Any problems?". 

        She was quick to reply, " Oh, nothing , she is truly a lucky girl".

         " Yeah, I guess she is....don't say you are aware of it!!"

        "I was informed sometime back" she said putting great efforts to sound normal.

        "Funny, why didn't anyone back home tell me?"

        'Back home??.....' She thought, 'so its true ...and now....', "She mentioned it when we went out last time, shopping in fact three weeks ago" she drawled on...

       "Went out shopping? Odd! my sister never mentioned it".

         It was her turn to be puzzled, " What has Preeti  got to do with this?"

        "Everything. Its her wedding we are talking about", he said in an amused tone.

       The world was turning topsy turvy...sensing her bewilderment, he come closer to the table she was standing with her back to, looked at her for a few minutes, gently asked, "What's going on? Who is lucky, if not  Preeti?"

      She couldn't utter a single word. Motionless, she remained silent. He repeated his query, this time with a touch of concern in his voice. It roused her out of her trance and yet she could not bear to look up at him.

      Gaze to the ground, she replied softly, "Shabnam and...", her voice trailing off.

      He spoke " So, its the season for weddings, good for her....wait a minute, what has that got to do with my visit?"

      With no response forthcoming, a bright light, light up somewhere, clear as daylight and he understood. He started to question her but stopped with an afterthought. Instead, he walked to the kitchen, searched for some edibles, finding a packet of wafers, he literally glided back to his comfy spot on the couch and began munching. The chomping noises were meant to irritate and further unnerve her and it did just that.

     "What is he upto', she thought hotly. Whatever it was, he was taking his own sweet time with it. Reaching for the music system, he played one of her favourite songs, 'Everything I do, I do it for you..."

      The whole bloody scene and his casual air was draining her composure and in a vain effort to control her emotions and get it off her chest, she was forced to ask of him, "Isn't it true about you and Shabnam?", biting at the last word.

     He turned back, staring at her in serious puzzlement, all the time struggling to stifle a grin, "What about us?"

      "You two are making marriage plans, aren't you?" She asked bluntly.

      'If you say so', he longed to say and play along. Seeing her increasing disconcernment, he settled for, "How and what do you know ?"

     "The whole gamut", she admitted dryly, "Shabnam told us, me and Preeti on our shopping trip. She even thanked me for introducing you to her. Hell, our department is agog with the gossip of your impending union, what with your frequent visits". Unable to stop, she added bitterly, "She wouldn't have known you, if not for me".

        "That's true", he agreed, leaving her to figure out what was true and what wasn't.

        As he paced the room, he mentally kicked himself for paying attention to the other girl in question, he needed to have a serious talk with Shabnam, at the earliest. First things first, this was the opening he had been hoping for, and damned he would be to let it go by.  He needed answers to the question he had been grappling with for over two years now.

      So, he retreated to the couch and silently watched her, observing her face that had always been an open book, her expressions presently forming an amalgam of sadness, despair and bewilderment, but not the emotions he sought to see.

       Time seemed to beat its own drum, the silence comforting her, she having no inclination to raise again, the topic that was painful to even contemplate let alone discuss. And yet, she could not help the strange feeling that arose in her and wondered, "Why is he not forthcoming?'

      He seemed different today, from his usual self. True, he was secretive and did not reveal his thoughts or feelings, except to those close....'But they were close, weren't they?', she pondered, his behaviour beyond her comprehension.

     She gave in to the urge to curse Shabnam in particular, the world in general for the way the events has spanned out. Her mind waltzed over the good times she and TC (as she and all their common friends affectionately called him) had shared, the mutual care, support, affection and guidance nurtured over half a dozen years.  

     As she glanced shyly at the pensive figure seated, from her spot at the table, she knew it would be impossible to forget, difficult to let go. Yet, she wished the very best for him, even if it meant....She had long known, she was lying to one and all when she denied anything but platonic feelings for him. As she battled her conflicting emotions and thoughts, she failed to notice that TC had abandoned his position and walked unto her, so much so, that she let out a scared cry when he held her by her shoulders.

     He gently raised her face up, to met his glance, searching for the elusive answer in her eyes....something flashed just then...and then it was gone......but it was enough.

     He asked her tenderly, almost reprimanding, "Is this why you have been avoiding me of late?". She looked away guiltily.

    Diffidently he asked of her, "does it matter to you that I may belong with someone else?"

    'Yes', she wanted to scream out loud but bit her tongue to stifle the impulse and shook her head.

     He commanded, " Look into my eyes and deny the same".

     Astonished, she looked up, seeing her own pain and desires reflected in those dark brown eyes looking down at her, slowly aware of the tears rolling down her face.

    Words seemed redundant then. Nothing else mattered anymore, except their love....now....tomorrow.....forever.....

    

word count 1558

     

(Originally written on 1/5/1997, as per my diary)   ;D)

    

           

             

# 6 Random Musings For The Day

Why is that a child's adoring eyes makes you feel, you can conquer the world??

Bombay Musings

This picture made me nostalgic for the city that was my home for over 27 years(good luck to guessing my age).Moving to a second tier city has me thinking quite often on the pros and cons of living in a megapolis(by Indian standards).
Blame it on the fact that "you can take a person out of Bombay but not Bombay out of the person", but the pros far outweigh the cons (at least for me).

The Pros obviously being:

• An absolutely cosmopolitan city (mini India, if you will) respecting traditions but with a heavy western influence.The exposure to different ethnic group practises and cultures really opens your mind to the diverse yet similar nature of us - homo sapiens.
• The freedom to follow your dreams big and small(yes even illegal, immoral ones), the immense opportunity available, for starters.
• Where one's individuality and personal space is valued(the fact that time is money may have a lot to do with it).
• The varied avenues of entertainment for all ages(and before you protest), countless beaches, A national park, mini parks all over.
• Relatively safer place for women and collaborator in their empowerment.
• Good and intelligent use of science and technology tempered with Eco friendly ways.
• Where your religion, caste, race doesn't matter(98% of the time) in any sphere of life.
• Festivals and celebrations give community a whole new meaning.

I could have gone on all day and still not be finished...

Now for the Cons:

• Pollution and Blatant commercialisation
• You may have neighbours you may never interact for years with.
• Stark division between the wealthy and the not so, disregard for rules(especially teenagers).
• Increasing intolerance and xenophobic tendencies.
• Burgeoning population and inadequate infrastructure.
• Loneliness(elderly and the singletons) and lifestyle diseases, stressful lives.

As you can see, given a chance, I would catch the first available flight to Bombay, take everything the city throws my way..."Good, Bad And The Ugly" and never leave.

Well, as the Saying goes,"if wishes were horses,beggars would be kings". ;D 

No one moves to these beats like me, definitely not you two legged creatures!!
Bring It On Baby!!!

# 5 Random Musings For The Day

When he/she says "was looking for someone like you", is one allowed to wonder, "heaven knows, how long and how many have they been looking at"???